In his column, “New Candidate For The Darwin Awards,” Carl Hiaasen shares the story of Richard L. Steinberg — a Florida representative who thought that it would be a good idea to stalk a federal prosecutor:

Special nominee for the Darwin Awards, handed out each year to exceptionally un-evolved members of the human species: Florida House Rep. Richard L. Steinberg, a Miami Beach Democrat, in whose primitive cranium the following idea was hatched:

“Hey, I know what would be really fun! I’ll get on the Internet and send suggestive text messages to a married woman who just had a baby and also happens to be a federal prosecutor. To be clever, I’ll use a fake screen name so she’ll never, ever figure out at that it’s me.”

Gosh, what could possibly go wrong?

Everything, of course, and it did.

Steinberg initiated his slick cyber-seduction efforts by writing, “Sexxxy mama.”

“How do I know you?” replied his victim, Assistant U.S. Attorney Marlene Fernandez-Karavetsos.

Ever coy, Steinberg refused to identify himself.

“Leave me alone,” shot back Fernandez-Karavestos.

“Is that any way to treat a friend? LOL,” the mystery admirer wrote.

Steinberg thought he was safe hiding behind the Yahoo! screen name “itsjustme24680,” which might as well have been “itsjustme_thathornymoronwiththeroomtemperatureIQ.”