I assume that Donald Trump is keeping a list, so I want to make sure that my name is on it as one of those he calls the “enemy within.”

This is an easy decision. I’ve been what Trump calls “a vermin within the confines of our country” for just over 77 years now. Well, I was born in Japan and lived there for the first year of my life and spent three years living in Germany while my father was stationed there, so I guess I’ve been a vermin for only 72 and a half years, counting the six months I spent reporting on wars overseas.

As a journalist, I am also one of those Trump calls an “enemy of the people” and a “radical left thug,” and I want to make sure my name is on those lists, too. I got my start during the eight years I spent writing for the Village Voice. I was such an enemy of the people and outrageous part of the radical left that I attained a 200-page FBI report and Cointelpro file that included pages from Military Intelligence reporting on my service as second lieutenant in the Army.

During part of 1972, after I left the Army, I was assigned my very own personal FBI agent who followed me around New York City and one night followed me home to the barge I lived on in West New York, New Jersey. He parked his car overnight on River Road, and I woke him up in the morning to tell him I was on my way to work at the Voice and that there was usually good parking on East 9th Street between University and Broadway.

Donald Trump has said that people like me are “vermin who will do anything, whether legally or illegally, to destroy America and to destroy the American Dream.” I just want to make it clear that if it’s Donald Trump’s American dream, yeah, I’ll do pretty much anything to destroy it, so he should make sure I’m on that list.

I want to put myself down as one Trump has called a “grossly incompetent low IQ dummy,” a group that includes Vice President Kamala Harris, whom he has called “dumber than hell.” I want to state that I that, as Trump has also accused Harris, I proudly “laugh like a crazy person,” so that should be recorded on a list somewhere, too.

I have to say that the list I want to be put right at the top of is Trump’s “enemies within.” Trump called Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi “enemies within” the other day, and I want to make sure that my name is right there with theirs on his list. Trump emphasized the danger of the “enemy within” to Fox News’ Maria Bartiromo the other day, saying “I think the bigger problem are the people from within. We have some very bad people. We have some sick people. Radical left lunatics.” He promised that the presence of these terrible people “should be very easily handled by, if necessary, by National Guard, or if really necessary, by the military, because they can’t let that happen.”

As a veteran who comes from a family with four generations who have served, I want to make certain that I’m on the “enemy within” list so Donald Trump’s “military” can find me. I’ll welcome them into my home and show them the LIFE Magazine with my grandfather, Gen. Lucian K. Truscott Jr., on the cover. I’ll show them my father’s Silver Star, which he was awarded for heroism during the battle of The Gauntlet in what is now North Korea. I’ll show them the medal grandpa was awarded when he retired from 10 years’ service in the Central Intelligence Agency. I’ll even let them take a gander at my West Point class ring as I fix them a nice cup of coffee and offer them some buttered toast.

I am serious about this. I have been a thorn in the side of the United States government and the White House and the Congress and especially the Army for over five decades. I have written extensively advocating the right of gay people to serve in the military when it was still a crime to be gay and serve your country. I have almost three decades of history writing in favor of a sane gun policy in this country. I have written brutal critiques of three or four U.S. presidents and called at least one of them – you know who you are – a fascist. I believe in stuff like the right of women to control their own bodies, and I believe in equal rights under the law for everyone, and I believe that six of our nine Supreme Court justices are fascist fellow travelers.

I am indeed an enemy within if it is the America Donald Trump dreams of. So, Donnie, my boy, you fascist prick, if your minions are assigned to track down people like me and put them on lists, I want my name on every single fucking one of them.

Lucian K. Truscott IV, a graduate of West Point, has had a 50-year career as a journalist, novelist, and screenwriter. He has covered Watergate, the Stonewall riots, and wars in Lebanon, Iraq, and Afghanistan. He is also the author of five bestselling novels. You can subscribe to his daily columns at luciantruscott.substack.com and follow him on Twitter @LucianKTruscott and on Facebook at Lucian K. Truscott IV.