Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:
5. Larry Pratt
Congressional Republicans may be temporarily moving on from their obsession with preventing Americans from obtaining affordable health care, but the right-wing fringe is not.
On Thursday, Gun Owners of America executive director Larry Pratt continued his long history of saying crazy things on Stan Solomon’s crazy radio show, when he warned that the Affordable Care Act is little more than a backdoor scheme to undermine the Second Amendment.
Responding to Solomon’s claim that Obamacare will “literally take away the rights of every American to have a firearm,” Pratt revealed the horrible truth.
“We are looking at a major assault on the right to keep and bear arms, it is reminiscent of Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, where they used doctors as part of their torture routines and got people sent to the camps for improvement of their mental health,” Pratt warned.
He later insisted that President Obama will soon force doctors to “submit medical information to the big computers in the sky.”
By adding Obamacare to public education and immigration reform to the long list of government services that he thinks are actually elaborate plans to steal his guns, Pratt once again reminded us of exactly why the mentally disturbed should not have access to firearms.
4. David Dewhurst
Texas lieutenant governor David Dewhurst, who was the favorite in the Lone Star State’s 2012 U.S. Senate election before being outflanked to the right by a little-known Tea Party challenger, has apparently determined that he won’t get Cruz’d again.
Speaking at a Tea Party event in Fort Worth on Monday, Dewhurst brought out the big guns in his appeal to the far-right: freedom, Benghazi, and impeachment.
“This election is about protecting you and your freedoms, which are given to you by God, but which are being trampled on by Barack Obama right now. I don’t know about you, but Barack Obama ought to be impeached,” Dewhurst declared. “Not only for trampling on our liberties, but what he did in Benghazi is just a crime.”
Dewhurst didn’t elaborate on how a lieutenant governor could protect freedom from Barack Obama (much less impeach him), but it turned out to be irrelevant — as he once again found himself overshadowed by a much crazier Republican.
Shortly after Dewhurst finished speaking, Tea Party leader Cathie Adams — who is no stranger to This Week In Crazy herself — launched into what the Texas Observer describes as “a stemwinder on how Islam — the religion of the ‘illiterate Arab, Mohammed’ — threatens the American way of life.” After she explained how “crypto-Muslims” such as anti-tax activist Grover Norquist and CIA Director John Brennan have infiltrated American government, the Observer says she “received an awed and hushed reception, with several audience members visibly or audibly moved by the threat facing their country.”
Poor David Dewhurst. No matter how hard he tries, he’ll just never be the nuttiest Republican in Texas.
Photo: The Texas Tribune via Flickr
3. Steve Stockman
On that note, genuinely crazy U.S. Representative Steve Stockman (R-TX) checks in at number three this week, for trying to put Dewhurst’s empty ranting into action.
Stockman, who memorably threatened to file articles of impeachment against Barack Obama if the president issued any executive orders that would regulate guns, has decided to “educate” his colleagues on the topic. The congressman told conspiracy repository WorldNetDaily that he has obtained 435 copies of Aaron Klein’s book, Impeachable Offenses: The Case For Removing Barack Obama From Office, and plans to distribute a copy to every member of the House of Representatives.
You may remember Klein from his theory that President Obama is literally Satan, as evidenced by the fact that he has been photographed near flies, and some expert testimony from right-wing message-board posters.
In addition to handing out Klein’s fantasy novel, Stockman also says that he has hired a religious-right law firm to craft the case for impeachment. The firm presumably flagged Stockman’s attention with its past efforts to argue that Obama wasn’t born in the United States, and that he has been secretly flooding the market with gold from Fort Knox in a conspiracy to keep its value low.
Meanwhile, Stockman’s thoughtful gift probably earned himself a spot on Michele Bachmann’s Christmas card list.
Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr
2. Glenn Beck
The always-entertaining Beck is at number two this week, for promising on the Tuesday edition of his radio show that America will “definitely” become an apocalyptic wasteland within two years (for real this time!).
“There will be some IMF global tax that will add an extra 10 percent on everything. The people like me will be out of business, and the people that have done favors for this government will be in business. And they will be fine, and we’ll be the little worker bees,” a subdued Beck lamented.
“Those at the top of the food chain, they’ll also have the Google glasses…this isn’t science fiction, this is science fact!” he continued, his voice now rising.
“The London Times just ripped me apart saying, ‘Oh, Glenn Beck’s afraid of the Terminator,’” Beck shouted. “No, I’m not…Read The Singularity by Ray Kurzweil, you pieces of garbage!”
Beck went on to explain that people tell him, “Don’t worry…Everybody’s going to be able to have Google glasses. Everybody’s going to be able to upload the information and enhance their intelligence.”
“Really?” he shouted. “How are they going to do that!?”
If Beck’s mental breakdown is really just about wanting to get some Google glasses, I’m sure we can find someone to hook him up with a pair.
1. Values Voter Summit
This week’s “winner” is the entire Values Voter Summit, which featured too many deranged performances to pick just one. The annual conference, which is organized by anti-gay hate group the Family Research Council, essentially served as a This Week In Crazy convention, drawing Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, Rick Santorum, and scores of other far-right favorites.
Some of the many highlights included Bachmann renaming the Affordable Care Act “Death Care,” Dr. Ben Carson declaring that Obamacare is worse than slavery, Louie Gohmert accusing John McCain of being an al Qaeda sympathizer, and Santorum shouting that the health care reform’s contraception mandate is a “descendant of the French Revolution,” somehow.
For more, check out Right Wing Watch’s excellent coverage of the conference.
Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!
