After letting news about her use of racist slurs swell for days, celebrity cook Paula Deen released a heavily edited video apology calling her words “hurtful.” Soon thereafter, an unedited version of the same apology appeared on the Internet.

“Your color of your skin, your religion, your sexual preference does not matter to me. It’s what’s in the heart … and my family and I try to live by that,” she said.

Though she had begged for forgiveness, The Food Network followed up the apology by announcing that they would not be renewing Deen’s contract.

Deen’s comments during a video deposition about wanting to have a “plantation” party, along with making racial jokes, set off a firestorm that led to her being a no-show for a promised appearance Friday morning on NBC’s Today show that was intended to set the record straight.

It’s difficult to imagine a worse defense of casual racism than being “born 60 years ago.” But for future reference, here is some advice on how to confront someone over their racist words.