The Colbert Report‘s Stephen Colbert is very impressed with Oklahoma’s governor Mary Fallin (R-OK), who is so opposed to sex-same marriage that she’s stopped all state-owned National Guard facilities from processing any marriages for members of the military.

“Governor Fallin is setting a great precedent here,” he said. “Rather than providing any services for gay people, the government should refuse to provide them for everyone.”

In order to prevent gay people getting their “gay” all over things, he thinks we should shut down the fire department, schools and the military. But even that probably wouldn’t be good enough to ensure that Oklahoma remains Okla-hetero.

“Governor Fallin, I’ve heard that gay people in your state enjoy the scent of your state flower, the Oklahoma rose, just as much as straight people do. So you should order everyone in your state to cut off their nose to spite the gays — because you’re kind of doing it already.”